If there's one thing i've realized since the first moment I gained consciousness, it is that knowledge is the ultimate source of power. Any person in a position of power has the ability to think quickly, make quick decisions and willing to make sacrifices, no matter how tough the situation they're in. Knowledge is developed through years of learning and experience. You can't obtain knowledge without either one. They compliment each other in such a way that having one is just as worse as having none. This is purely based on empirical judgement and anybody can make a statement as to why this isn't so.
Growing up sterile from human interaction, I find it EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to socialize verbally with people. This is not because I consider myself as a slow or dumb individual, it is mainly because I didn't have enough experience communicating with people who are intellectually adept. I have succeeded in surrounding myself with people who are in the same predicament i'm in. The social outcasts who had 2 choices: Either hang out by yourself or hang out with other losers. Based on my (very limited) experience, most choose the latter.
Since I did not have anyone whom I could verbally spar with, actually hold their own and gain my respect, I decided to look for answers on the internet. I quickly devised a way to inconspicuously hide my flaws and function/blend well within groups of people. Study and dissect people from movies/TV shows who exhibit excellent communication skills. Why didn't I start this earlier? I play, paused and rewind TV shows, writing and reciting every line that would separate me from the average bear. A combination of lines and jokes that would score big laughs from everyone thus causing a huge surcharge to my social stock. The method worked the first few times I've tried it. Then it quickly dawned on me the consequence of such a an act: You become a ONE TRICK PONY
Living up to the hype is the trick that is virtually impossible to accomplish. The group of people notices that you have a certain type of personality that's interesting and they want to keep you around because of how you well you dictate the flow of conversations. Sooner or later, you have to talk about yourself because making fun of people and constantly throw a humorous line can only go so far. People want to see different sides of you so they can find out if what you say is congruent with how you live. As soon as they detect a hint of imbalance between your personal life and how you view life in general, they subconsciously categorize you as a fake. This is true in every sense of the word.
I am fake. Why? Not because I choose to be fake but because I find it hard to be real.
Now that I have someone who I could communicate with, i feel that this is the time to finally start being real and attempt to actually talk about things that happened in my life. Mistakes will happen almost every second but I have to learn to just not care. If there is anyone smart enough to listen and hang out with me, then I should take the opportunity like I have nothing to lose. I just need to learn and harness the ability to not give a fuck. I've been waiting for a chance like this and I would be a damn fool not to take it. EXPERIENCE. Take it Regor, this is the one thing you never had all your life. It's yours if you want it badly enough...
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